Developers Should Not Have Partners
Photo by Andres Molina on Unsplash
Since their repeated failure in romantic matters, The Secret Developer has decided what they think Valentine’s Day should mean to software developers. They think Valentine’s Day should pass developers by and love should not be for software engineers. Let us explore those crazy opinions, and what it tells us about programmers.
”Software Developers should not be in relationships, it gets in the way of coding.
Let me explain this to you. I’ve created a list of why people think software developers don’t have a partner and what fixes should be made to this attitude. I mean we need a way to make sure we make the next generation of software developers (even though it typically takes 9 months).”
Why Love isn’t for software developers
Work hours
Long work hours are expected for many software developers. Some employers even target younger software developers with a laser focus on work and delivery who don’t have the distractions of family and a life outside of software development. Software development often requires long, irregular hours, which can strain personal relationships, but it shouldn’t be like that.
“You need to work long hours to be a great software developer. They say it’s like this so you can spend hours iterating on your poor code.
I’d say can’t you simply write it correctly in the first place?”
The fix for this:
As a candidate ask the right questions during an interview to assess the culture of the target company
As a community get rid of this idea that long hours create a great software developer. The coupling between the two is weak at best.
Stress and Burnout
The high-pressure environment and tight deadlines in tech can lead to stress and burnout, making it hard to maintain a healthy work-life balance. Those who are stressed at work sometimes take it out on romantic partners, making relationships difficult.
“You could always set up a blog complaining about your lot in tech life. I think that would help most developers.”
The fix for this:
Companies should promote a healthy work-life balance.
Employees should take responsibility for their mental health. For example, breaks should be taken during the working day, and work should stay at work. Employees should stand up for these conditions.
The Unrelenting Focus on Career Growth
An undivided focus on career advancement, learning new technologies, and working on personal projects can come at the cost of a relationship. This can include talking about work all the time, and the unrelenting focus of the employee even if they are not spending all of their time actually at work.
“You probably don’t need to learn a new language. 5 or 6 should be enough for a professional developer.”
The fix for this:
Work on your own code, ideas, and goals outside of a corporate environment. Learning is not always about the next promotion.
Lifestyle Incompatibility
The lifestyle of a developer, often characterized by periods of intense focus and solitude, might not align well with the expectations of a non-tech partner. Someone working as a project manager might not understand the trials and tribulations of a software developer partner and this might cause friction within the relationship.
“Sure, the coder life might not be compatible with some partners who do not understand the demands of coding. The solution is simply to get a partner who works in tech too.
I’m sure there are plenty of romantic options where you work. What could go wrong?”
The fix for this:
Communication within a romantic partnership should give a mutual understanding of the requirements and challenges of a software development job.
Mobility and Flexibility
The tech industry often requires mobility for career progression. Being single provides more flexibility to relocate for job opportunities in the eyes of some employers. Even in great environments, personal circumstances are frequently ignored when career progression is considered.
“Surely we should rate software developers on merit alone? Their circumstances are irrelevant in terms of great code. Simply write great code and everything will be fantastic.”
The fix for this:
When considering performance and job opportunities tech companies should consider individual circumstances.
Social Challenges
Developers, stereotypically known for being introverted, might find maintaining a relationship challenging due to the social demands it entails.
“I don’t have social challenges. I just have great code and great results.”
The fix for this:
Although The Secret Developer thinks that they are perfect socially (and that is not true) this would still be insufficient since in a term we need to work together. Teams should celebrate differences and also work on collaboration and communication.
Financial Independence
Staying single can mean fewer financial responsibilities, allowing for more freedom in personal spending and investment in tech-related resources or hobbies.
“To me this means I have money to quit my job. That’s crucial, since I hate it.“
The fix for this:
Don’t give developers golden handcuffs. One way around this is to pay employees to leave companies if they aren’t happy. This is covered by The Secret Developer in their WFH handcuffs article.
Distractions
Relationships can be seen as a distraction from the intense concentration required for coding and problem-solving. Babies, partners, and animals can break concentration which means that software development takes more time.
“Distractions are killing me. Imagine how distracted I am to write one blog article each day instead of coding.”
The fix for this:
No matter your personal life, having space and time to work is important (and crucial if you are working from home). When you are paid to work, make sure that you are working.
Prioritize space and independence away from distractions when working, with support from tech companies.
Conclusion
The Secret Developer has created a list of reasons that people think software developers should have a partner and potential fixes for each. This has been completed partly in jest, although as usual, it seems like The Secret Developer is taking this process entirely seriously.
“If you’re spending time doing anything away from the codeface you’re probably not a pro developer. 20 hours or bust. Isn’t that how it is, and should be?”