Friday the 13thđź‘ľin the Tech World
It’s Friday the 13th, and I guess the name of the day has a big impact on the Superstitious.
I mean how many software developers choose to make a major release on Friday 13th? How many developers are going to choose a difficult refactoring that touches the heart of their app today?
We might think software engineers are hyper-logical and make reason-based decisions but I think that is a bit of a stretch.
So, here is a list of horror stories that I’ve written about as The Secret Developer and might just send a chill down your spine this Friday 13th.
The Day the AI Said “No”
Let’s start with the horror story of the company that “doesn’t use AI” and never will — or so they claim. I walked into an interview where the interviewer declared that they didn’t use AI, and did not see any prospect in the future that they would integrate it into their workflow. They might as well have said they don’t believe in electricity and that their developers do not use it.
We know a number of lower level jobs are at risk of being replaced by AI. As software engineers, we are either going to be replaced by AI or we are going to move into the future willingly (or for some, kicking and screaming).
If you’re resistant to AI how about you go down with the ship on your own time, because I’ve no plans to join you.
FAANG: The Dream That Died
The new zombie is the FAANG dream. I used to imagine myself basking in the glow of free meals, onsite gyms, and endless swag.
The layoffs are a clue that FAANG isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Even the biggest names in tech are not immune to our industry woes.
Working for a FAANG company these days feels like an episode of Survivor. You might outlast your competitors, but you’ll be doing it on an island of bad management decisions and endless code reviews.
The Golden Handcuffs
The dream turned nightmare of working from home. Pre-2020 we thought the idea of rolling out of bed and grabbing a coffee before calmly logging into work was compelling.
It turns out that losing the commute had a price. Colleagues don’t look for better job offers because they don’t want to lose the perks of working from home, even if it means stagnating in a job that bores them to tears.
They’re saving money on childcare and transport, sure, but they’re also stuck in a job where they do the absolute bare minimum. It’s bad for them, bad for the team, and bad for the company.
It’s a horror story where you ignore stagnation in professional growth just so you can drop your kid off at nursery and not see the damage that trade makes.
The Stand-Up Hell
If you think Friday the 13th is scary, try sitting through two stand-up meetings a day. Then sitting in near-silence for the duration of both of them. I know so many developers who get no benefit from stand-up meetings at all.
In practice, stand-up meetings are just a daily opportunity to pretend to be productive while secretly browsing Reddit. Nothing is learned, and no healthy communication takes place. I started tuning out before the start of the meeting.
The Managers Who Don’t Get It
I’m living a horror show. I’m reverse-haunted by ghosts, and the biggest ghoul of all is my current boss.
It’s not just the current boss though. Another boss wanted to scrap an entire project because a friend on Twitter said it would be a good idea. Not because it made sense for the project or the team, but because some random person online thought it would be cool.
My own stories are sending shivers down my spine.
Conclusion: Tech is When Friday the 13th is Groundhog Day
So yes, Friday the 13th might have a reputation for being unlucky, but in the tech world, every day has the potential to be just as cursed.
I’m not the only disillusioned developer out there. We are all working to survive each day and hope to make it to tomorrow and outside a zombie dramathat is no way to live.
But hey, at least it’s never boring. And who knows? Maybe today’s the day management will put the technology first. Positive thinking will keep the ghosts at bay, won’t it?
Won’t it?