If Programming Languages Were Cars🚗, Which One Would You Drive?

*Photo by* *ICE The Shooter* on *Unsplash*

The crazy and exciting world of software development is an exciting place. Just like the open road, some of us look for the safety of a family sedan and others look for the excitement of a sports car.

You can tell much about a person from the car they drive (and a red sports car tells us all we need to know about a middle-aged driver).

Buckle up fuclehead and get ready for the ride of your life exploring programming languages in a way we have never seen before!

Java: The Toyota Land Cruiser

Photo by Jay Miller @therealjaymiller on Unsplash

Reliable. Used in the third world as they’ll probably keep you moving through terrain no matter how challenging. Not the fastest, but it will get the job done. Consistent performance and reliability? Choose Java to get the job done just as you’d choose the Land Cruiser. If you want a sleek design with the newest bells and whistles perhaps look elsewhere.

Are they still teaching this workhorse at Universities? Get modern, kids.

Python: The Tesla Model S

Photo by Jp Valery @jpvalery on Unsplash

User-friendly, innovative, and popular among those who appreciate clean design choose both Python and the Tesla Model S. The car is innovative and sustainable while the programming language focuses on readability and simplicity. All about making life easy? Choose the Model S and Python!

You didn’t mention that both Python and Tesla do way too much for you.

C: The Classic Ford Mustang

Photo by Meritt Thomas @merittthomas on Unsplash

C is the granddaddy of modern programming languages, and the classic Ford Mustang is the same for programming languages. Powerful with the traditional engineering that lets you get up close and personal with how your machine works. Yes, you lack some of the automation and gizmos on newer models but you will not be able to get a better driving experience.

I wonder what the car equivalent of C++ is?

JavaScript: The Volkswagen Beetle

Both JavaScript and the Beetle fit anywhere and get the job done. They can be squeezed into any situation and get you from A to B. It has charm in buckets and is prized for its versatility, leading to widespread use and acceptance.

If JavaScript were as good as the Beetle it would be engineered to work correctly.

Rust: The Volvo XC90

Photo by Michel Grolet @garnet_photographer on Unsplash

Rust and the Volvo XC90 are all about safety. One prizes crash safety (Volvo) and the other is memory safe without a garbage collector (Rust). You wouldn’t choose anything else if you require a safe solution.

Does anyone use Rust? Or drive a Volvo?

*Silence*

Conclusion

There are plenty more programming languages not featured here. Unfortunately, the Fortran — ancient car nobody drives combo didn’t make the cut. Neither did Kotlin, probably because the car would need to be a Daihatsu of some sort and I wouldn’t want to inflict that image on you.

So, there.