I’m Sick🤮of You Reading in Meetings

Nov 25

Meetings are the art of communication and collaboration, right?

They help us to work together and solve problems, so are a great use of developer’s time.

At least they would be. What is the point in reading what is on the screen? Here is what is happening to me right now in a refinement session.

1. The BA opens the JIRA board. “Can everyone see my screen” is met with silence.

2. They read aloud the acceptance criteria for a ticket.

3. “Any questions?”, again followed by silence.

4. Then into the next ticket.

And that’s it.

I’m so bored I think I might just cry. It’s a monotony marathon disguised as Agile.

Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?

Agile was supposed to save us from the sins of Waterfall. Yet somehow, it seems to have replaced structured inefficiency with unstructured inefficiency.

Here’s why these ticket-reading meetings suck the life out of developers:

No Engagement

Reading acceptance criteria verbatim assumes no one has done their homework. (Spoiler: They haven’t, although this wouldn’t fix the problem it would be something.)

Zero Creativity

When’s the last time someone actually added value in one of these meetings. In my case, I’ll let you know: Never. You tell me of the value you added in refinement in the comments (I’ll wait).

Silos on Display

Questions like “Who’s working on TS917 again?” are not collaboration — they’re a cry for help.

The Solution

Agile calls for cross-functional teams that “self-organize.” So, here is a set of suggestions you can use in your next retro meeting.

Here are some revolutionary ideas for fixing this mess:

Asynchronous Prep

Expect team members to read the tickets beforehand. (Radical, I know.) Use the meeting for actual discussion.

Limit the Scope

Don’t go through the entire backlog. Focus on high-priority items or ones with unresolved questions.

Encourage Participation

Use a round-robin format where everyone is required to give input — or outlaw “any questions?” altogether.

Timebox Everything

Ten minutes. Tops. You’d be amazed at how efficient people can be with a timer ticking, and how much more work would get done.

The Existential Question

“Are We Really Agile?”

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: if your team spends more time in meetings than writing code, you’re not Agile. You’re Agonizing. Agile practices, when poorly implemented, do more harm than good, turning “collaboration” into a euphemism for endless Zoom calls.

Conclusion

Next time you’re stuck in a meeting, staring at a Jira ticket like it’s a cryptic riddle, remember: Agile isn’t supposed to feel like this.

If you’re empowered to decline meetings you should definitely do so. Just make sure it’s not your manager’s.

The Secret Developer