Software Developer Jerks
Photo by Syed F Hashemi on Unsplash
A software development jerk isn’t always the same as a jerk in other careers.
“That’s true. Even though I love some jerks I’ve worked with there are some traits of software developers that keep coming up time and time again.
Here are those jerk-like behaviors.”
I’m the best. Repeat ad infinitum
The developer keeps telling people how great they are. It’s annoying, and worse, management eventually starts to believe them.
“I’m not sure how to behave when I am the best. I’m only asking because I am the best developer in the room.”
The rules do not apply to me
The jerk developer does not respect the agreed coding standards. Quickly your codebase becomes inconsistent, and it becomes difficult for the team to read and maintain the codebase.
“I think we all know that coder. They keep their own standards in the codebase and don’t do what the team would like.
I’m glad I’m anonymous as I think any of my colleagues would laugh at me and say I exhibit exactly this behaviour. It’s not true, just their naming conventions suck so bad.”
It’s everyone else’s fault
The developer might admit their behavior is not appropriate but still insist they are right. They’ll say things like their team member’s naming conventions suck so bad.
“That makes sense, except The Secret Developer really is the best developer in their company. I know things they don’t. I’ve got qualifications but they just can’t see how good I am.
They need to see how brilliant The Secret Developer is.”
Hoarding Knowledge
Some jerks deliberately keep their knowledge to themselves to keep their ‘edge’ over others. A good developer shares knowledge around the team for everybody's benefit.
“I know some people are shy. However, showing everyone what you are doing and how great you are is a great way to convince your team how great you are.
Which unfortunately means I can no longer be bothered sharing anything with my team. They don’t listen to my brilliance.”
Overly Harsh Code Reviews
Some software developers are great at giving feedback through code reviews (and through other communication means). However, the jerk software developer can be discouraging and unhelpful through their overly critical code reviews.
”I don’t know why people are overly sensitive about the mistakes they make.
1. Get a linter and use it
2. Read up on naming conventions. Make sure your code conforms to them
3. Actually do some quality coding
How hard can it be? If you’re not doing that, you deserve those 10 comments, loser.”
Ignoring feedback
Jerks oftentimes don’t take feedback well. As a result, the jerk might ignore feedback and not improve their practices and work.
“Any feedback I get should be positive since my work is so good. Take a look and tell me if I am not wrong.”
Overpromising and Underdelivering
Jerks consistently promise to complete tasks within unrealistic timelines or commit to features without considering the feasibility, leading to team stress and missed deadlines.
“Look I’m held up by how slow other developers are. Tickets changing mid-flight and testing criteria are not set at the beginning of our sprints.
How about looking at that first and then looking at the practices of ‘The Secret Developer’ later.”
Conclusion
It does appear that The Secret Developer is a jerk. Don’t be like The Secret Developer.
“You wish you were as good a coder as The Secret Developer. You wish you were The Secret Developer.”