The Day Sundar Pichai Drove Google Off a Cliff
Photo by Rajeshwar Bachu on Unsplash
You’ll sA jam-packed keynote from Google with exciting AI advancements. Expanding the lineup of Pixel devices. Surely The Secret Developer can find things to love as the nature of software development moves into the future?
This is the day Sundar Pichai Drove Google Off a Cliff, and with it their future profitability
When asked for a roundup of the biggest and best announcements, The Secret Developer came up with this list of complaints and worries for the future.
Software development is changing, but it seems The Secret Developer is resolutely staying the same.
Google’s AI Push
It’s a Pity Bard is Awful
Google seems to be going all in with AI. 30 AI mentions in the first 35 minutes, perhaps AI could look for a synonym of AI or something.
Don’t worry. They still left time for the Pixel 7A.
I spent a good deal of time trying out Bard today at work. I don’t use personal logins at work and joining a waitlist to use AI felt like a real opt-in for me. Now it’s available to everyone I feel able to use my company login and give away our company secrets happily.
I can’t believe it. It’s eons behind ChatGPT and even the hobbled Bing version.
Even saying Bing makes me feel slightly ill.
AI Won’t Kill Google. Google will (The Advertising issue)
At one point in time, I’d have trusted Google. They presented the best search results and didn’t mess with them no matter how much a company would pay. Now they’re after the advertising $ at any cost, and the quality of search results has decreased accordingly. I think we’re all waiting for models to be fine-tuned to recommend sponsored content.
Hey Bard, what’s the best way to quench my thirst?
CocaCola™
I can’t wait.
The Bar So Low Emojis Are Welcome
A keynote where a big drama is made out of emoji wallpapers? Over recent months I’ve progressively become more afraid of AI-developing Terminators and ChatGPT eating my job.
TBH I don’t know what the future may hold, but the sight of Google spending time on wallpapers reassures me that things aren’t moving that quickly and maybe I’ll get time to develop a few more wrinkles before the inevitable layoff/Terminator/death scenario.
If we do move to eradicate software engineers there are so many other problems to solve, we’ll all be able to find work. Like investigating how Google moves so slowly.
Tablets
I suspect even people who work creating an Android tablet wish they were using an iPad.
Or even a real computer. Do tablets even support Dvorak keyboards?
Foldable phones
I think I’d prefer the tablet. I could buy 3 for the $1799 asking price for a Google foldable phone, and then just fold them in half on the vanishingly rare occasions I would need to place a “big screen” into my pocket.
Stadia
Not even a mention of an update. It’s almost as if they’ve dropped the idea entirely.
Oops.
Conclusion
I could think of more things to hate, but I’d probably have to use Bing to remind myself of what happened at I/O this year.
I’m not prepared to go that low.
Now I wonder what horrors Apple will have for us next month.