If Developers Told the Truth in the Daily Standup

During daily standup meetings, developers should be sharing updates about obstacles that the team moves to solve.

You might hear things like FE developers being blocked by unfinished designs or team members confirming the ACs of their tickets.

I think some of these blockers aren’t even real. So, what would real responses be if developers told us the truth during these waste of time meetings?

Scenario: The CI is broken

Common response: “I’ll add some tests while waiting for the CI to be fixed”

Honest response: “It’s OK, I’ve got a Netflix subscription”

Do Scrum Masters believe we sit trying to work out software development problems when we can’t complete our ticket? There’s a comedy special from Bill Burr that the developer hasn’t yet seen so they’ll spend the time watching.

Scenario: The codebase is bug-ridden

Common response: “The previous developer didn’t follow our new coding standards. I’ll need to refactor this code before I start on the new feature.”

Honest response: “I’ve got away with shoddy work for the last few months. I’ve begged my colleagues to approve my code, and it’s worked up until now. Unfortunately, my luck is running out and they’ve said I need to add tests (seriously) and use their naming conventions. Since my code is trash I’ll need to do some serious work before being able to deliver your feature.”

Does this one hit home?

*Photo by* *Justin Lauria* on *Unsplash*

Scenario: The Database Migration Failed

Common Response: “We need to roll back and figure out what went wrong with the migration script.”

Honest Response: “I didn’t write down all the scenarios that needed to be tested. Who thought someone could have still been using an account from 6 months ago? Hey, you live and learn.”

This could also include the shock that people still use older versions of our software (gasp!) or that customers might be using our product in ways that we thought nobody did anymore.

*Photo by* *Fahrul Razi @mfrazi* *on Unsplash*

Scenario: Back from vacation

Common response: “I’m going to catch up on emails”

Honest response: “Why am I here? Last week I was in Bali and now you want what? I’m going to have a lie-down.”

If you haven’t been to Bali replace that with Lewistown Montana (or where you have been).

*Photo by* *Elizeu Dias @elishavision* *on Unsplash*

Scenario: Afternoon off

Common response: “I have a medical appointment this afternoon, so I won’t be available between 2 and 4.”

Honest response: “I’m interviewing with our competitor. Wish me luck!”

You can add to the real response that the people at the competitor seem to be nicer and have a superior tech stack.

*Photo by* *Federico Respini @federicorespini* *on Unsplash*

Scenario: Sick day

Common response (written on Slack): “I don’t feel well today, so I’m going to take a sick day to rest”

Honest response: “I’m going to the zoo/meet friends/play golf. Stick your tickets to next week.”

Conclusion

Say one of the honest responses in your next standup meeting. Go on, I dare you.